How Do I Deal With All The Pain And Suffering in Paris?

“Mum, I'm feeling really sad. After the attacks in Paris, I just feel so upset. All these attacks are just getting closer . . . What can I do?”

This was my daughter Emily phoning the other night as she wanted me to help her quieten her mind in what she felt was an increasingly dangerous world. What is the answer? All those poor people who have had their lives ripped apart through violence. We should do something. What should we do?

People''s thoughts go out to those affected, they feel outrage, anger, sadness, pity, hopelessness, fear, revulsion . . . feel free to add any feeling you think is just in this sentence. Emily felt exactly this. She was saying how awful for the people involved and to her it felt as if the threat of terrorist violence was ever encroaching on her life to the point she felt frightened.

The following was my solution to her. You are more than free to totally dismiss it, but I would advise you to allow your mind to open about this a little more, totally up to you. This is either a resonating truth or complete BS, your choice!

The world we inhabit and all encapsulated in it live emitting and receiving frequencies. The PRF (Prime Resonant Frequency) of standard human is between 7 – 10 Hz, which is the same as the frequency of the earth we live on the "Schumann resonance". It has long been agreed in quantum physics that our different moods emit different frequencies. The happier we are the higher we resonate at. When we are in a room with happy people we seem to be “infected” by their laughter. The truth is our body's frequencies become raised by those being emitted around us.

What does this have to do with my daughter's question? EVERYTHING! It is all very natural and normal to feel empathy toward others who are experiencing pain, terror, panic etc. If you want to help you own an instant and powerful means to help those suffering.

Logically, sitting and feeling pity and sadness will only create more pity and sadness as you will be emitting a low energy frequency. Instead, take a moment to fill your mind with positive thoughts of love and compassion. Helping those in dire need of peace in their hearts and minds is easily accomplished if you sit and quietly meditate sending all the love and healing you can.

If you know the people involved personally then being a rock in their time of need will be much more appreciated than dragging them lower with your additional dialogue of pain, terror etc. We are here to help heal our loved ones not elongate their time in sadness.

The only healer of loss of a loved one is time and enabling ourselves to be thankful for the time they were in our lives.

Here is an example of how I dealt with the most painful event I have ever experienced. My mother was the closest person to me in my life. We talked pretty much daily no matter where we were. We went on walks, days out, lunches, I would be at her house or she would pop round to mine. We spoke freely of our feelings, events in life etc. If she was living abroad, then we would write. My mother was one of the only people who held me together the one time when my world seemed to crash around me.

When she died I made a supreme effort to honor her. I did not want to sit in a room full of people crying and wailing, talking of how ill she had been, how sad her days had been whilst suffering through all her illnesses . . . she very, very rarely sat and complained of her lot, was nearly permanently happy and so what right did anyone else have in brooding and perpetuating all her pain in her absence? I even told my mum when she was alive that going to her funeral was something I would not do and explained why. We agreed on this on one proviso, I had to go if there was no-one else going! She was a well loved being and trust me, plenty of people turned up. I instead went to a place me and Mum loved and walked and thought of what a wonderful person she was, how happy she makes me, how much love I have for her. She may have died, but it did and will never stop me from thinking and feeling all the positive things that she made me feel when she was alive. All her love, happiness, help, advice are still very much alive within me. It would have been a tremendous insult to her memory for me to sit and be miserable. When people are truly heartbroken they do not want someone to sit next to them and fill their already overflowing vessel of pain with more misery and hurting, they want succor. People want to be gently lead and be able to see a light at the end of the dark times.

My Mum . . . c'mon she just makes you feel happy too!  It was her magically quality

Emily also expressed a fear of imminent disaster as in her mind the terrorist attacks seemed to be getting closer. This comment actually made me giggle as she was an unborn baby, I was 8 months pregnant with her, working in Arkwright House, Parsonage Gardens, Manchester in December 1992 going up to my office when the IRA bombed Parsonage Gardens!!! So, it's not getting closer, it is just all still going on. 

There are various solutions to all these attacks.  Sadly most of them are to answer the attacks by attacking . . . yeah like that has helped over the hundreds of years you have all tried that!  Now what was it Einstein said?

I am not here to condemn or agree with any person's way of acting. I was not put on this planet to judge, there are plenty of other people who do that (and with some of the most horrific ideas of how to retaliate). As a species, we spend too much time invested in wanting what someone else has, in hating what someone else does, in being repelled by what someone else thinks. We have a the ability to wake up and change our thought processes. 

Instead of being so heavily invested in what someone else is thinking/doing, we should invest more time into making sure our own thoughts and actions are ones that come from a place of inner calm.  All of us should try living in the now rather than dwelling in the past or inventing the future.   I heard a great quote today from Keven “Da Hulk” Washington on YouTube  (I have put the video below as his story is a strong one . . excuse the pun):

“Do not let yesterday make your tomorrow”

also whilst talking on bad times and hard situations

“If you feel you will never get away . . you will never get away”.

There is a simple truth that keeps being repeated around the world. . . 

We are creators of our own reality and therefore if you are constantly in a state of panic, sadness, fear or any other low vibrational feeling and spend your time reminiscing on instances that gave or may give you panic, sadness fear, then you will never get away from them.  It's like talking to yourself in a mirror and expecting the other person to say something different. 

Instead, start teaching yourself to leave these situations behind. A great lesson (among very many) I learned from Andy Shaw's book "A Bug-Free Mind" was to take small steps away from the "what ifs..." and "what may be's..." by introducing positive thoughts and holding them for 15 seconds. If you find this hard just think of one thing that makes you smile and hold that thought for a few seconds. Each day build on those seconds until you can hold positive thoughts on numerous things for 5 minutes, 15 minutes and so on.  I have a really simple thought that starts this process off and works every time . . . it was the day I bought a red microwave with my partner. It was so red and gorgeous and it made us both happy, then I will go through all the things that make me happy and how much appreciate them. This can start my positive thinking off and keep going for over an hour. Just fill in each moment with all the things you love, that make you happy.  You will see the changes in yourself and your life in a lightning speed.

So in essence, the simple steps to easing your and other's suffering, simply sit quietly and think positive, high vibrational thoughts.  Your body will feel it, the earth will absorb it and remember, frequencies travel very fast.  You are literally changing lives by your positive thoughts.

When Did We Start Blaming Everyone For Our Own Fuck Ups?

When did we start blaming everyone for our own fuck ups?  From education right through to what we eat, we have turned into a world that just does not take responsibility for its own actions.  We also have turned into a world that has to sue everyone, for everything.

"It's the fast food companies fault we are fat"

"It's the education system that is failing us all"

"Society has made my child an ignorant prat"

"My marriage fell to pieces because it was his/her fault"

"I tripped over a pavement, I'm going to sue the council"

"He said I was an ignorant pig, I'm going to sue him for deformation character"

"They get paid more than me, I'm going to sue"

Someone actually sued (and won!!) McDonalds as she had scalded her lap with coffee whilst driving!!!

. . . . the list goes on, and on . . and on

The point that has to be made here is, at 43 I have realised one HUGE thing.  I am responsible for everything that happens to me in my life.  When I put on weight, it is not due to the pressure placed on my by advertising, I have never been quietly sitting at my computer when a Ronald McDonald employer of the week has stormed my house, grabbed me by the hair, stuffed me in the back of a van and force fed me a Deli Special of the Week, neither has any supermarket employee forced me into the dreaded "middle" of the shop, where apparently all the bad shit happens and you get sucker punched into buying all sorts of weird and wonderful things.

Now I do understand there are some quite legitimate reasons for taking someone to court/suing them such as gross malpractice, health and safety neglect etc but it is the daft stuff that is mentioned above, people just seem to want to find things to sue people for and, you get what you wish for I am afraid folks.

A story to learn by here is, friends of my partner played the suing game, suing for accidents they had at work to the point where he would DELIBERATELY hurt himself, they actually bought and paid for their house through all the claims they made.  Now I am a firm believer in you get what you bring to you, so if you are constantly telling people how poor you are, you will remain poor, if you are constantly telling people about your fear of being attacked, you will get attacked and so on.   Then what they had been focusing on came to pass, the man who had even gone to the lengths of severing a finger to sue, ended up having a serious motorbike accident and becoming paralyzed at which point, his wife left him.  So be careful what you wish for people!

So, to sum up.  When you realise you are responsible for everything that happens in your life, you will then be able to start making a more positive step to creating your dream life.  If you want to be slender, take a look at what YOU are shoving in YOUR face.  If you are in an unhappy relationship LEAVE IT and please don't do the "but how will I survive without the house, the money, the car (insert appropriate high end item)", the truth for you people is, easily.  I left my husband with £70 to my name and I survived very happily, yes you have to go through some pretty gritty times, but as long as you keep your ego in check, let the past stay in the past and look to making you a brand new happy future, you will, without doubt succeed.

Becoming responsible for yourself is the most empowering thing you can possibly do.

Now, off and empower yourself 

Life Is Too Short For Khaki

One day you are 18 full of life, know everything you need to know about the world, how people work and what you want to do with it all . . then 22 years later you wake up confused, not knowing what the hell is going on or how any of it works, and that is where the fun starts.

I have had a colourful life so far involving living abroad, living in London, travelling the world on my own, then back to the UK to have babies, get married, build my own home, get divorced, get fat, get fit, get fat again and am still in the process of getting fit but this time doing it rather better than before (even have a teeny bootcamp I teach) then on to find out all about life and how I really tick.  

So why this literary vomit? You may be asking.  Well, for one thing I have learned a couple of things, tricks et al that should be shared as there may be one person, probably living alone, with a dog called Herbert that needs to read this shit.  That person needs to know that brown is a crap colour to have on your walls, matching khaki trousers and top are not sexy and look so dated whether you are male or female and should only be employed as a garment of choice if you are in the military and need to hide behind other faded green things.  Life is just too short to be spent wandering around blending into ponds and privet hedges. Oh and a note to goths (yup been there done that), black doesn't stand out either and for your information you are not alternative, it has been going on now for WAYYY too long for that.  If you want to be alternative do IT  but is "alternative clothing" really to be found in a catalogue?  NO you should be brandishing your own uniqueness on the world!  Go forth and get brandishing.

So as this is my opening gambit to this my latest attack on the internet I shall off and leave you with this thought.

No one sees a grey cloud and thinks "that is amazing, that is gorgeous, look at that"  however everyone who sees a rainbow does!