How Do I Deal With All The Pain And Suffering in Paris?

“Mum, I'm feeling really sad. After the attacks in Paris, I just feel so upset. All these attacks are just getting closer . . . What can I do?”

This was my daughter Emily phoning the other night as she wanted me to help her quieten her mind in what she felt was an increasingly dangerous world. What is the answer? All those poor people who have had their lives ripped apart through violence. We should do something. What should we do?

People''s thoughts go out to those affected, they feel outrage, anger, sadness, pity, hopelessness, fear, revulsion . . . feel free to add any feeling you think is just in this sentence. Emily felt exactly this. She was saying how awful for the people involved and to her it felt as if the threat of terrorist violence was ever encroaching on her life to the point she felt frightened.

The following was my solution to her. You are more than free to totally dismiss it, but I would advise you to allow your mind to open about this a little more, totally up to you. This is either a resonating truth or complete BS, your choice!

The world we inhabit and all encapsulated in it live emitting and receiving frequencies. The PRF (Prime Resonant Frequency) of standard human is between 7 – 10 Hz, which is the same as the frequency of the earth we live on the "Schumann resonance". It has long been agreed in quantum physics that our different moods emit different frequencies. The happier we are the higher we resonate at. When we are in a room with happy people we seem to be “infected” by their laughter. The truth is our body's frequencies become raised by those being emitted around us.

What does this have to do with my daughter's question? EVERYTHING! It is all very natural and normal to feel empathy toward others who are experiencing pain, terror, panic etc. If you want to help you own an instant and powerful means to help those suffering.

Logically, sitting and feeling pity and sadness will only create more pity and sadness as you will be emitting a low energy frequency. Instead, take a moment to fill your mind with positive thoughts of love and compassion. Helping those in dire need of peace in their hearts and minds is easily accomplished if you sit and quietly meditate sending all the love and healing you can.

If you know the people involved personally then being a rock in their time of need will be much more appreciated than dragging them lower with your additional dialogue of pain, terror etc. We are here to help heal our loved ones not elongate their time in sadness.

The only healer of loss of a loved one is time and enabling ourselves to be thankful for the time they were in our lives.

Here is an example of how I dealt with the most painful event I have ever experienced. My mother was the closest person to me in my life. We talked pretty much daily no matter where we were. We went on walks, days out, lunches, I would be at her house or she would pop round to mine. We spoke freely of our feelings, events in life etc. If she was living abroad, then we would write. My mother was one of the only people who held me together the one time when my world seemed to crash around me.

When she died I made a supreme effort to honor her. I did not want to sit in a room full of people crying and wailing, talking of how ill she had been, how sad her days had been whilst suffering through all her illnesses . . . she very, very rarely sat and complained of her lot, was nearly permanently happy and so what right did anyone else have in brooding and perpetuating all her pain in her absence? I even told my mum when she was alive that going to her funeral was something I would not do and explained why. We agreed on this on one proviso, I had to go if there was no-one else going! She was a well loved being and trust me, plenty of people turned up. I instead went to a place me and Mum loved and walked and thought of what a wonderful person she was, how happy she makes me, how much love I have for her. She may have died, but it did and will never stop me from thinking and feeling all the positive things that she made me feel when she was alive. All her love, happiness, help, advice are still very much alive within me. It would have been a tremendous insult to her memory for me to sit and be miserable. When people are truly heartbroken they do not want someone to sit next to them and fill their already overflowing vessel of pain with more misery and hurting, they want succor. People want to be gently lead and be able to see a light at the end of the dark times.

My Mum . . . c'mon she just makes you feel happy too!  It was her magically quality

Emily also expressed a fear of imminent disaster as in her mind the terrorist attacks seemed to be getting closer. This comment actually made me giggle as she was an unborn baby, I was 8 months pregnant with her, working in Arkwright House, Parsonage Gardens, Manchester in December 1992 going up to my office when the IRA bombed Parsonage Gardens!!! So, it's not getting closer, it is just all still going on. 

There are various solutions to all these attacks.  Sadly most of them are to answer the attacks by attacking . . . yeah like that has helped over the hundreds of years you have all tried that!  Now what was it Einstein said?

I am not here to condemn or agree with any person's way of acting. I was not put on this planet to judge, there are plenty of other people who do that (and with some of the most horrific ideas of how to retaliate). As a species, we spend too much time invested in wanting what someone else has, in hating what someone else does, in being repelled by what someone else thinks. We have a the ability to wake up and change our thought processes. 

Instead of being so heavily invested in what someone else is thinking/doing, we should invest more time into making sure our own thoughts and actions are ones that come from a place of inner calm.  All of us should try living in the now rather than dwelling in the past or inventing the future.   I heard a great quote today from Keven “Da Hulk” Washington on YouTube  (I have put the video below as his story is a strong one . . excuse the pun):

“Do not let yesterday make your tomorrow”

also whilst talking on bad times and hard situations

“If you feel you will never get away . . you will never get away”.

There is a simple truth that keeps being repeated around the world. . . 

We are creators of our own reality and therefore if you are constantly in a state of panic, sadness, fear or any other low vibrational feeling and spend your time reminiscing on instances that gave or may give you panic, sadness fear, then you will never get away from them.  It's like talking to yourself in a mirror and expecting the other person to say something different. 

Instead, start teaching yourself to leave these situations behind. A great lesson (among very many) I learned from Andy Shaw's book "A Bug-Free Mind" was to take small steps away from the "what ifs..." and "what may be's..." by introducing positive thoughts and holding them for 15 seconds. If you find this hard just think of one thing that makes you smile and hold that thought for a few seconds. Each day build on those seconds until you can hold positive thoughts on numerous things for 5 minutes, 15 minutes and so on.  I have a really simple thought that starts this process off and works every time . . . it was the day I bought a red microwave with my partner. It was so red and gorgeous and it made us both happy, then I will go through all the things that make me happy and how much appreciate them. This can start my positive thinking off and keep going for over an hour. Just fill in each moment with all the things you love, that make you happy.  You will see the changes in yourself and your life in a lightning speed.

So in essence, the simple steps to easing your and other's suffering, simply sit quietly and think positive, high vibrational thoughts.  Your body will feel it, the earth will absorb it and remember, frequencies travel very fast.  You are literally changing lives by your positive thoughts.

One Thing That Will Make You Succeed In Your Weight Loss

You want to lose weight and just get fit; yet we live in a world where, thanks to the internet, we are bombarded with books, e-books, articles, fitness magazines all selling us their answer to weight loss and fitness. High carb low fat . . no it's low carb high protein . . no it's anything you like but in moderation . . no it's shakes. Fruit is the answer, fruit is bad . . anyone else's head spinning yet? 

Billions of people buy into the pills, potions and quick fixes. Heads up for you people, there is no such thing as a quick fix, unless of course you put the word 'temporary' in front of it. This article is a short and sweet answer to your question "How do I lose weight and get fit forever?" Pour yourself a large glass of cool water, sit back and learn the 1 thing you really need to know. 

WHO IS YOUR STORY ABOUT?

OK, one day you looked at yourself and decide, to pop yourself onto a pair of scales and see how thing are doing . . you screamed/cried/shouted at them, then dragged your bedraggled ego and self image into a room and made up your mind to change things. You may have looked at toned/muscular types on the internet and thought 
"I want to have a body like him/her" 

 NEWSFLASH!! 

You are not going to have a body like theirs because you are not them. You are you. So the very first thing you have done is tell yourself you are someone else! You have right then and their told yourself the only way you are going to look good is by looking like someone who is not you! Ego 0 - Advertising 1 

THINGS TO DO, THINGS TO DO . . 

Right, your mind is made up. You have now plumped your ego/self worth into a positive little ball of energy and you are going to get this shizz done! Let me take a wild swing of a guess at what some of the things on your list may be: 

1. Get up earlier 
2. Drink more water 
3. Exercise at least 2 - 3 times a day 
4. Join a gym
5. Learn yoga 
6. Cut out fats, sugar, fried food, bread, caffeine, sweets, alcohol, fizzy drinks, cakes & pastries 
7. Eat more fruit and vegetables 
8. Go to the gym 8. Do a fitness class 
9. Buy a fitness DVD 
10. Start weight training 

. . .  You may have other things on this list, but I think you get the gist. Is this right so far? WOWZERS, your motivation must be in the sky right now . . go you . . right?

LET ME LOOK INTO MY CHRYSTAL BALL AND PREDICT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT . . . 

Day 1: You made your list, and day one came along  . . you were flying!  You joined a gym, signed yourself up for a couple of classes, went home, made a salad and you are feeling good about yourself.

Day 2:  You are a little hungry, but hey, isn't that to be expected you are cutting down here.  Off to the gym with you. Still feeling good.

Day 4 - 5:  You are absolutely knackered.  You can't figure out why you are in such a bad mood and actually feel a little sad.  Your day at work has been a day from hell and you are late getting home.  You missed your class and, lets face it, you just can't be bothered to go to the gym . . hey you'll go tomorrow.

Day 14:  By now you have had at least 1 - 2 mad binge nights as the craving for bread/something fatty/sugar was driving you round the bend.  You started so well going to the classes but now you are finding it difficult to get the time to go and you are increasingly finding fault with the people in the classes, the way they are taught and how everyone in the gym itself are all doing better than you.

End of the month scenario.  You are now maybe even a little heavier, more depressed and have a little less money.

THE BIG REVEAL

Do you want to know why all of this has been so awful?  Why you have craved so much that depression felt like it was setting in.  Why your list slowly started falling to pieces?

Are you ready for the answer?

Strap yourself in for the big reveal . . as here it is.

You were only meant to start with ONE thing.  Yup . . it really is that simple.

The mistake we all make is to try and do it all at once.  This is a life changing thing you are doing, you can not possibly fix years of body misuse in one week/month/even year.

So, snuffle into your comfy chair and take heart.  It is ALL doable, just not all at once.

What you have to do is start with one thing and stick with it for at least 21 days.  So start with something easy like drinking at least 2 liters of water a day.  Doesn't matter how you do it sips through out the day, 250 ml bottles on the hour for eight hours . . whatever.

Once you have got this as a habit, once you notice that getting up in a morning and checking you have your supply for the day is a natural thing to do then move on to the next thing.

Your New Exercise Plan for the Next Month.  

Find ONE form of exercise to learn and do 15 - 20 minutes high intensity intervals every day for 21 days to a month.  Be it rowing, running, pushups, squats, whatever . . every day set a certain time (for some reason first thing and 7pm are always good times for me) and ensure you do your exercise.  Nothing fancy, not hop skip, jump, pullup pushup blah blah, just something simple that you can do consistently.

THE FOOD, OHHH THE FOOD!

Changing what you eat may be the most challenging part of any fitness goal.  Again use the ONE thing rule to start.  Try by cutting out processed sugar (cooked sugars), nothing else, just processed sugar.  Sure cut down your portions of other things if you can but your main aim is cutting out processed sugar.  Again do this for 1 month. 

It may not be easy, but at least you are only dealing with ONE craving.  To stop yourself going insane you can still eat oranges, apples, melon, strawberries etc, natural fruit sugars are NOT processed!

Then the next month, cut out wheat (nasty bloaty, gut annoying stuff that it is) and so on and so forth.

  

WHICH DIET IS THE BEST

I could sit and give you hundreds of links to various sites that claim their way is the best way.  The very simple truth of it is, if you find a way of eating that suits your life, that you can stick with, that helps you lose weight, lower your cholesterol levels, gives you energy and revitalisation and doesn't leave you clawing the walls, THAT is the right one!

Some people absolutely thrive on the 80/10/10 diet and say it is the only way to exist

Others thrive on the Paleo lifestyle and say THAT is the only way to live

The only diet that is good for you is one that you can make into a lifestyle choice. 

A HEADS UP

Right, you have done your ONE thing.  You have made your healthy eating choice but something is just not working.  

A lot of people (millions) have intolerances and even though you have never had an allergic reaction to anything in your life, you body still may not be able to cope with certain foods.  This is far more prevalent the older we get so here are a three foods that your body has just learnt to hate:

• WHEAT
• GLUTEN
• PROCESSED SUGAR

If you are having real difficulty shedding the pounds, try the ONE method with each of these.  I pretty much guarantee that one of them will be the culprit for your struggles.

LAST BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST . . . 

So far we have covered 

Exercise 

Cravings

Diet

Over Planning

What else is there that can cause you to fail?

I have left the biggest ONE till last

YOUR MENTAL ATTITUDE

There is an old saying:

"WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN OR WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN'T, EITHER WAY YOU ARE RIGHT"

You have taken stock of most things by now, but one HUGE thing is still to be added to your repertoire to ensure you succeed.  This is so simple and yet the most missed piece of necessary advice..You have to believe you are succeeding, you have to believe you can do this as if you don't, you may as well quit whilst your behind.  

Your mind is the thing that says "let's exercise", you mind is the thing that says "let's eat clean" it is also ONLY YOUR mind that can tell you "this is too hard/I can't do this/I am failing/I'm never going to reach my goals . . . " and worst sentence your mind can possibly say "I GIVE UP!!"

OH NO YOU DON'T!! 

NOT ON MY WATCH!!

From this moment on you are going to tell yourself you CAN do this.  Sure you may go awry every now and again, we all do that!  You are going to get right back on track and start again, and again, and if need be again to infinity.  You are never going to give up.  Why?  Because it's simple 

Effort + belief = results

We are not looking at a 90 day transformation miracle, we are looking for a lifetime of getting fitter, healthier and happier!

Try different ways of training.  Learn as much as you can about nutrition (be warned the world of science has not made a definitive ONE way on this, but you have to make your choice) use your noggin, if it sounds like a pile of houey it generally is!  In general terms the simple meal of small amount of meat (obviously if you are vegan, veggie that is not necessary we all know all fruit and veggies contain enough proteins to go at), lots of greens/salad and fruit.  If you have a sugar craving, grab a couple of banana's.

Well, before this turns into a book I should finish.  I hope this opened your eyes and mind to how to be a complete success.  Any questions, just ask . . 

MY LAST SENTENCE . . . 

You can't fail, if you never give up

Are You In Control Or Are Your Demons Controlling You?

WHO CONTROLS YOU?

As I sat at my computer yesterday reading posts on the brain fart encyclopedia that is Facebook, I realised I was becoming very angry, wound up by what someone was typing about. I was getting really riled by their ignorance and how they were spouting bull to the nation, so . . I turned off my computer, went out with my dog and carried on being annoyed, to the point of having an imaginary sit down debate with the person.  As the evening wore on I went to do my meditation, only to have my mind fill with all the things 'I could have said/should have said'.

Demons in my head by akairisu deviantart

This morning I sat and thought to myself 'Cathi, you are an arse!'  Am I so arrogant that my opinions and beliefs are more valid than theirs? Has that person who you are slowly winding yourself up like coiled cobra about, had half a day of head turmoil thinking 'I bet this annoyed Cathi' . . no, they didn't. 

I allowed myself to find something annoying, I told my head to get into a real rumpus about it.  In other words I had a sleeping demon, who, rather than letting  her sleep, I prodded her with a pointy stick and woke her.  As we know anyone woken by being poiked with a pointy stick isn't going to wake up happy!

I allowed my ego a trip out, and by hell had I given her all the arms and ammunition to start a war in my own noggin.

As I sat and pondered this, I thought about all the posts I read that are annoyed with the government, annoyed by pop singers behaviour, annoyed by an argument from the past, annoyed by how someone trains, what diet someone is on, annoyed, angry, angry, negative, negative.  My question is

"How is this all serving me?  How is reading this stuff making my life better or my desires come to fruition?"

Answer:  it isn't.  I can not control other people's thoughts, emotions, actions, beliefs, doctrines, opinions and moreover why on earth would I want to?

I normally live a life of 'live and let live'.  One afternoon not living by MY OWN doctrine I totally stuffed up more than half a day of MY LIFE.  The person that typed it didn't do that, they are completely blameless in all this.  The only victim and perpetrator was me.

We, as a world, have a propensity to allow ourselves anger over peace.  Think about it.  How

many times have you become enraged at the words that have come out of someone else's mouth?  If I was walking  past you and sneered under my breath said "Jeesh, you are one hideous pig" . .how would you react?  Punch me? Shout at me?  Swear at me?  Spend AT LEAST half a day coming up with brilliant retorts in your head? Cry?  Look for a place that does plastic surgery? Or would you just carry on and not let it bother you?

Now ask yourself which way of reacting would make your life a healthier, happier, more positive place?  Dragging round a bag of anger or allowing others to be.

by DoiDuh

If you keep dragging round your bag of anger it is because you are not a peace with yourself.  You have not accepted yourself.  You have issues around certain parts of your being, whether it be your weight, your size, you features, your intelligence, your beliefs etc.  So many wars about religion, about land that people believe to be theirs.  If we all just took a deep breath, and started allowing people to be, what does it matter where a border is, why not completely dissolve all borders, allow anyone on this planet to go where ever they want?  If they want to believe that all carrots are gods and sacred, what business is it of yours to tell them otherwise?  I know, it's my Utopian dream, and so many people will already be putting up mind barriers, arguing how it can't be rather than smiling thinking 'that would be lovely'.

It is time for each and every one of us to learn self acceptance, to pay more attention to how WE behave, how WE think, what makes US happy and leave everyone else the fuck alone.  We all have sleeping demons, very few of us have managed to slay them and like anything within us, it is up to us to learn how we work, what makes us tick and figure out what is holding us back, then to don our coats of armour go out there and slay our demons.