How Do I Deal With All The Pain And Suffering in Paris?

“Mum, I'm feeling really sad. After the attacks in Paris, I just feel so upset. All these attacks are just getting closer . . . What can I do?”

This was my daughter Emily phoning the other night as she wanted me to help her quieten her mind in what she felt was an increasingly dangerous world. What is the answer? All those poor people who have had their lives ripped apart through violence. We should do something. What should we do?

People''s thoughts go out to those affected, they feel outrage, anger, sadness, pity, hopelessness, fear, revulsion . . . feel free to add any feeling you think is just in this sentence. Emily felt exactly this. She was saying how awful for the people involved and to her it felt as if the threat of terrorist violence was ever encroaching on her life to the point she felt frightened.

The following was my solution to her. You are more than free to totally dismiss it, but I would advise you to allow your mind to open about this a little more, totally up to you. This is either a resonating truth or complete BS, your choice!

The world we inhabit and all encapsulated in it live emitting and receiving frequencies. The PRF (Prime Resonant Frequency) of standard human is between 7 – 10 Hz, which is the same as the frequency of the earth we live on the "Schumann resonance". It has long been agreed in quantum physics that our different moods emit different frequencies. The happier we are the higher we resonate at. When we are in a room with happy people we seem to be “infected” by their laughter. The truth is our body's frequencies become raised by those being emitted around us.

What does this have to do with my daughter's question? EVERYTHING! It is all very natural and normal to feel empathy toward others who are experiencing pain, terror, panic etc. If you want to help you own an instant and powerful means to help those suffering.

Logically, sitting and feeling pity and sadness will only create more pity and sadness as you will be emitting a low energy frequency. Instead, take a moment to fill your mind with positive thoughts of love and compassion. Helping those in dire need of peace in their hearts and minds is easily accomplished if you sit and quietly meditate sending all the love and healing you can.

If you know the people involved personally then being a rock in their time of need will be much more appreciated than dragging them lower with your additional dialogue of pain, terror etc. We are here to help heal our loved ones not elongate their time in sadness.

The only healer of loss of a loved one is time and enabling ourselves to be thankful for the time they were in our lives.

Here is an example of how I dealt with the most painful event I have ever experienced. My mother was the closest person to me in my life. We talked pretty much daily no matter where we were. We went on walks, days out, lunches, I would be at her house or she would pop round to mine. We spoke freely of our feelings, events in life etc. If she was living abroad, then we would write. My mother was one of the only people who held me together the one time when my world seemed to crash around me.

When she died I made a supreme effort to honor her. I did not want to sit in a room full of people crying and wailing, talking of how ill she had been, how sad her days had been whilst suffering through all her illnesses . . . she very, very rarely sat and complained of her lot, was nearly permanently happy and so what right did anyone else have in brooding and perpetuating all her pain in her absence? I even told my mum when she was alive that going to her funeral was something I would not do and explained why. We agreed on this on one proviso, I had to go if there was no-one else going! She was a well loved being and trust me, plenty of people turned up. I instead went to a place me and Mum loved and walked and thought of what a wonderful person she was, how happy she makes me, how much love I have for her. She may have died, but it did and will never stop me from thinking and feeling all the positive things that she made me feel when she was alive. All her love, happiness, help, advice are still very much alive within me. It would have been a tremendous insult to her memory for me to sit and be miserable. When people are truly heartbroken they do not want someone to sit next to them and fill their already overflowing vessel of pain with more misery and hurting, they want succor. People want to be gently lead and be able to see a light at the end of the dark times.

My Mum . . . c'mon she just makes you feel happy too!  It was her magically quality

Emily also expressed a fear of imminent disaster as in her mind the terrorist attacks seemed to be getting closer. This comment actually made me giggle as she was an unborn baby, I was 8 months pregnant with her, working in Arkwright House, Parsonage Gardens, Manchester in December 1992 going up to my office when the IRA bombed Parsonage Gardens!!! So, it's not getting closer, it is just all still going on. 

There are various solutions to all these attacks.  Sadly most of them are to answer the attacks by attacking . . . yeah like that has helped over the hundreds of years you have all tried that!  Now what was it Einstein said?

I am not here to condemn or agree with any person's way of acting. I was not put on this planet to judge, there are plenty of other people who do that (and with some of the most horrific ideas of how to retaliate). As a species, we spend too much time invested in wanting what someone else has, in hating what someone else does, in being repelled by what someone else thinks. We have a the ability to wake up and change our thought processes. 

Instead of being so heavily invested in what someone else is thinking/doing, we should invest more time into making sure our own thoughts and actions are ones that come from a place of inner calm.  All of us should try living in the now rather than dwelling in the past or inventing the future.   I heard a great quote today from Keven “Da Hulk” Washington on YouTube  (I have put the video below as his story is a strong one . . excuse the pun):

“Do not let yesterday make your tomorrow”

also whilst talking on bad times and hard situations

“If you feel you will never get away . . you will never get away”.

There is a simple truth that keeps being repeated around the world. . . 

We are creators of our own reality and therefore if you are constantly in a state of panic, sadness, fear or any other low vibrational feeling and spend your time reminiscing on instances that gave or may give you panic, sadness fear, then you will never get away from them.  It's like talking to yourself in a mirror and expecting the other person to say something different. 

Instead, start teaching yourself to leave these situations behind. A great lesson (among very many) I learned from Andy Shaw's book "A Bug-Free Mind" was to take small steps away from the "what ifs..." and "what may be's..." by introducing positive thoughts and holding them for 15 seconds. If you find this hard just think of one thing that makes you smile and hold that thought for a few seconds. Each day build on those seconds until you can hold positive thoughts on numerous things for 5 minutes, 15 minutes and so on.  I have a really simple thought that starts this process off and works every time . . . it was the day I bought a red microwave with my partner. It was so red and gorgeous and it made us both happy, then I will go through all the things that make me happy and how much appreciate them. This can start my positive thinking off and keep going for over an hour. Just fill in each moment with all the things you love, that make you happy.  You will see the changes in yourself and your life in a lightning speed.

So in essence, the simple steps to easing your and other's suffering, simply sit quietly and think positive, high vibrational thoughts.  Your body will feel it, the earth will absorb it and remember, frequencies travel very fast.  You are literally changing lives by your positive thoughts.

Do You Really Look Great?

This morning as I awoke a recollection of someone's post on my Facebook wall sprang at me like an angry leopard. I managed to get so wound up about it that I had to sit down and blog it all out. 




Lets start with this one.  How many of you out there have an illness that can be traced back to bad diet and lack of exercise (these are more numerous than you can possibly imagine)?  You have piled on weight, maybe even having trouble walking far as you get out of breath, and, when you state that you think a chocolate bar would make you feel better especially with some ice cream, the 'loved ones' and 'friends are there cooing at you, saying "yeah, it will cheer you up" or even going so far as to give you some ideas of how to stuff more crap into your body the way they do it? 

If you are a drinker, just a normal person who maybe goes out once a week for a few drinks; how many of you out there have gone through a really rough patch and your alcohol consumption has managed to up its game considerably? Even to the point where you are drinking a bottle of wine or more a night. Now, how many people in your life, that claim to love you, have told you its OK, heck it's not that much in the scheme of things, or even better, they do just the same so nothing to worry about. 

Maybe your joints are aching a bit, and, you have faced the fact that your life has never been a particularly active or healthy one. Someone may suggest that you start learning a few simple easy bodyweight exercises . . . then the same 'caring people' who are telling you your alcohol intake is fine, your high fat diet is a great way to cheer yourself up will also turn round and tell you the person who said do exercise is a fucking idiot, you just take it easy, eat cake with a glass of wine and put your feet up. 

BEWARE THE SYCOPHANT!  They are a very dangerous breed

Now you have to ask yourself, those nights when you were going out and you looked in the mirror and didn't think you looked too good in that outfit so you asked one of these 'friends' what they thought and they said "You look great" . . . did you really? These 'friends' who are telling you to ignore your problems, eat crap, destroy your body and keep well away from change. You are seriously putting trust in these folk? 

Let me be honest with you here . . . 


I have been that drinker, I have been the person with depression eating crap, I have been the one sifting through people to find the right ones that will tell me the good things about my bad habits . . . and do you know what happened? I asked myself one simple question which was:

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? 

The answer was a resounding YES. With this very useful piece of information in hand I set out to change my health and happiness and reap the rather fabulous rewards as I journey, as for me, this journey only stops when I run out of the ability to draw breath.

Now ask yourself are you surrounded by friends and loved ones or sycophants who are creeping round you telling you what you want to hear rather than what you NEED to hear? 

Here's the truth for you, here is what, maybe,  you don't want to hear but seriously need to. 

NO, drinking too much is not good for you, in fact its ridiculously harmful and can lead to a myriad of health and mental health problems.

NO, eating crap will not make you feel better.  The truth is it will make any illness worse, depression deeper and joint ache more severe. 

NO, healthy food is not tasteless crap, all green leaves and no joy.  It is an abundance of flavours in a glorious myriad of taste, texture and delight. 

YES, the only way to address your problems are by eliminating the crap from your life and I'm not just talking about the food, booze, drugs and laziness, but all the sorry arse lame excuses and all the sycophants.  You have to look for the cause, which is more likely to be some deep seated issue, be it lack of self worth, a bad experience in the past, relationship problems . . what ever, you need to start looking and dealing.

YES, you can really do this and you can do it, for the most part, on your own . . . in fact I would urge you NOT to find a gym/training/diet etc partner as they invariably let you down at some point. To be a success you have to stand on your own without the fake support of others. However, if you are drowning and not waving, go to the professionals for help be it a psychiatrist, trainer or one hell of a lot of research in the library.

YES, it does take time.  It's glorious self realising, revitalising, educational, time and it is something you should see as a pleasure not a chore. You can't do a little happy celebration dance at each goal you achieve if you are perfect! This is the wonderful part about being superbly imperfect, we get to celebrate all through our journey!

YES, you will reap the benefits of changing your life around 

YES, people will drop out of your life, the ones that hold you back, drag you down, do not want to see you succeed, but the ones that pick you up, love you unconditionally and motivate you along will appear in it. 

Most importantly 

YES IT IS WORTH IT 

Next time you look in a mirror and ask "do I look great" remember the only person who can answer that one is you.

Now go forth and become even MORE fabulous.

Love & Hugs